I woke up this morning
So cold was I
That I reached for the cedar
To give warmth to my eyes
A rumbled appeared
on the inside of me
And I thought to myself
Stake and eggs there shall be!
So I grabbed down some alder
And burned up the wood
My steak did I cook
Up under the hood
Of my old pick-up truck
The engine not there
I had put in a stove
People started to stare
So I figured to myself
Lets make a hot drink
And invite those on-lookers
For coffee and meat
So I grabbed me some pine
And those drinks I did heat
Hot java with sugar
which tastes like a treat
Well right about now
It was just around lunch
And the people who gathered
Were oh quite a bunch
And I thought to myself
How now about nigh
I wish I had made
Enough fresh apple pie
But no pie was there
So I continued to think
And thought of potatoes
Here by the street
So I grabbed me some elm
Bone dry to be sure
And I wrapped spuds in foil
The hot coals to endure
And I passed out the plates
To the onlookers just so
And knife of type Swiss
Near a camouflage pole
And the spuds were all eaten
With haste and delight
When I started to realize
It was just about night
Here in the wilderness
Alaska by name
Where the bears all wear coats
And the deer they complain
Of the cold winter evenings
The chill on the air
And I thought to myself
Lets get oak for the bears
So I grabbed me some oak
Which I’d cut with my saw
And warm we did keep
Until the spring thaw
So if you were wondering
Just what wood to use
Remember this poem
And feel a little amused
Cedar in the morning
for when it is cold
Pine for the coffee,
that tastes like pure gold
Alder for the steak,
a savory feast
With some elm for the spuds,
Bone dry to say the least
And last comes the hardwood
Black oak by name
For the freezing winter nights
So the locals won’t complain
And your on-lookers will delight
With the flash of the sparks
And they’ll stay on through morning
And the dogs they will bark
For the joy that is produced
By fresh burning wood
Because what to burn when
Is now clearly understood
The Inspiration
I owned a woodyard for 4 years and I had a lot of customers that didn't know much about firewood. As I worked on my sales speech, I would explain to people what types of wood to use for certain circumstances and this poem is reminiscent of that. Its meant to have just a hint of silliness and to be fun.